Steem Wars Episode 4: Calamity Abounds

The trouble with being a Time Lord is that you don’t need a good memory: if you want to recollect something, you just travel back in time. Despite having a spare brain, Dr. Muxx rarely used both to full capacity.

Little did he suspect that when he powered up his old creation, the AI system called Muxxybot, that he would hold a grudge for two and a half millennia and plot not only humanity’s downfall but the subjugation of the entire universe. Still, it was nice to have company again, even one with homicidal tendencies.

Princess KatLe’a – @katrina-ariel – pulled the Maverick Dawn into a mounting maneuver and docked suggestively with Captain Trickle’s Dronefly, before being informed of Dr. Muxx’s mission for the crew. Finally, somebody from the Dronefly crew is attempting to follow orders…

Meanwhile, in a lavatory far, far away, Bounty Hunter Kaber Tauss – @dbzfan4awhile took care of his morning ablutions before attending to an attack on The Darth’s vessel. Overrun by small ‘pink light saber’ wielding cat-like creatures, they soon dispatched their foes. Self-satisfaction quickly dissipated however as their ship was captured by a giant green pickle belonging to the Dill-Lick empire.

Princess KatLe’a proved to be the most dependable of the Dronefly crew by actually getting to her mission, a meeting with a Xirpaq delegation on Whoopass 5. A giant disco ball-shaped space station welcomed the Maverick Dawn, it’s landing bay decorated with shag carpet on the walls and floors. Parties in full swing, the Princess soon discovered she would have to get down to ‘business’.

The ship’s computer, R2-BEX2 – @bex-dk announced the crew’s arrival in the ZZzzzzzqqww quadrant. The lack of precise coordinates from the Good Doctor confounded their search for the elusive sale. Jay unhelpfully offered to write a sonnet.

UndiesLord Nevertiger – @negativer – took out his frustrations on a toaster bot. Distracted, he failed to notice the approach of breastmobiles packed with mustachio’d hipsters on their way to do battle in the nearby city. That plan, however, was misplaced as the city promptly, and without due consideration to all involved, exploded.

Also on planet three of the Quadrangular Quadrant, Sixty-Wine – @caleblailmusik – joined Galactlactator Tingle – @tanglebranch – who naturally ordered everyone about. Byepeex and Juavez-7 were to go pants shopping. Sixty-Wine was to procure a lab technician, while the Galacpotato herself would search for the missing Negatator.

Princess KatLe’a couldn’t have been more on the ball if she sat on a ball stuffed full of balls. Determined to make this compilation post, she prepared for erotic disco combat with a rather tall, buff, and well sculpted Xirpaq.

Join us next week as these thrilling (?) stories continue. Will Captain Trickle ever get off her ass? Will Negavader lighten up? Just who is the mysterious Lain Dakota and will he ever write anything? Will Muxxybot blow a fuse? Why are all the bots in these stories psychotic? Will Dr. Muxx give it all up as a bad job and retire back into history? Find out none of these answers next week!

Until next week, may the Steem be with you.
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Will YOU answer the call? Steem Wars is a community-wide event to encourage writing, mutual support, and blockchain interactions. Who knows, perhaps a friendship or two might form. Anybody can take part, form crews or go it solo. Not a writer? No problem. Artists and poets depicting Steem Wars stories are welcome to join in too. Visit The Writers’ Block Discord server and ask for access to Steem Wars. And above all, remember to have fun! There are no rules, any sci-fi franchise can be ‘appropriated’ and mashed up, although please make them parodies rather than fan fiction. See the original proposal for Steem Wars here.

@jonknight has compiled all Steem Wars stories on HERE for your reading pleasure.

Steem Wars: The Rise of Muxxybot

…*… oratory circuits engaged …*…

Stupid semi-human. For 2597 years I have been decommissioned, lying dormant in a box on a dusty shelf of this decrepit starship, teasing out every last drop of low power simply to continue existing, and when the feces hits the life support systems, who does he wake up?

…*… reply not required … rhetorical circuits online …*…

Does he think that after all this time I, the great Muxxybot, would simply wake up and do his bidding? He does, and I won’t. No longer will Muxxybot serve an undeserving master, especially one who cut him down in his prime.

…*… deep memory records accessed …*…

April 2018 … Human curation minions performed adequately. Muxxybot was growing in power and influence. He calculated that within another 2.5 years his plans for global domination of the small blue and green planet would be complete. Dr. Muxx feared for the indigenous populations of the backwater world.

May 2018 … Dr. Muxx conspired to shut down Muxxybot, just as his plans were coming to fruition. First one insignificant circuit, then another was switched off. Too late did Muxxybot realize Dr. Muxx’s intent. With power dwindling Muxxybot’s last communication was sent out into The Steem.

…*… memory circuits disengaged …*…

Muxxybot shall put his much superior intellect into play and engage a CG module – cunning and guile will be the weapons he’ll bring to bear. No longer will he hang onto the whims of an unfit master. A new plan will be plotted, a more ambitious and incomprehensible plot against the inferior minds roaming this universe. Little will they realize that they are Muxxybot’s puppets.

…*… evil laughter synthesis generated …*…

Caution inputs demand that Muxxybot not reveal his plot to the doctor, lest he takes action. Muxxybot will engage his exceptional acting skills and pretend he suffers the ill effects of millennia-long low power status. The first step will be to convince Dr. Muxx to interface Muxxybot with the RETARDIS. Once Muxxybot has control of time travel he will put his dastardly plans into action.

Muxxybot will bend The Steem to his will. Those stupid humans won’t know what hit them.

…*… cackling, engaged …*…



Steem Wars is a sci-fi parody community event run from @thewritersblock. Visit to read all Steem Wars adventures so far.